I found yoga two years into a broken back and almost a quarter century into an eating disorder. Fresh out of grad school with a new degree in forensic psychology, I planned on changing the world—right after I changed myself. And I would change myself as soon as I stopped hurting. The hierarchy of needs at its finest.

My plan to maintain a size zero frame in my mid 30s followed the basic Anorexia Nervosa eating program along with strenuous CrossFit-esque workouts. When my back and spirit finally rebelled, a lovely yoga teacher and friend, Avery, suggested yoga. After some grumbling about stretching and chaturangas, I gave in. 

And my world changed.

My arms lacked the strength for chaturanga dandasana. Solution? Eat something. My legs lacked the stamina for digasana. Solution? Eat something. My entire body lacked something. It lacked... itself. Yoga helped me see food as food—not the enemy or my dearest friend. I needed food to do these poses. And the less I felt the anxiety that fuels an eating disorder, the more human I became, because I found yoga. And the more I practiced the less physical pain I felt; my back improved, my brain calmed, my spirit finally felt something akin to peace.

During this time I worked in corrections, mostly with co-occurring disorders, and also with people with disabilities. Subscribing to a biopsychosocial perspective of treatment and rehabilitation, I grew to believe the “bio” aspect too often hyped medicine but lacked plain, physical movement. While clients were continuously given pills and denied an exercise plan, a large component of recovery, I experienced tremendous healing both in my spine and in my mind. They needed to meditate, to breathe, to move, to feel, to heal.  

In Sanskrit, "Seva" means "selfless service." Seva Yoga is the joining of my academic and yoga educations, my attempt to bring the practice to those who truly need it—mind, body, and spirit—but can’t afford to pay. It will be, I hope, the culmination of years of mental health and yoga training, plus a heavy dose of personal experience. To begin, Seva Yoga will offer one “Seva” class per week. This class is free to anyone willing to try yoga as a supplemental treatment. The Seva class will address mental health and co-occurring disorders, but not subscribe to any specific type of treatment or recovery so anyone can attend. It’s just yoga. We hope we need to add more Seva classes as the studio grows (we also hope the studio grows), and would appreciate everyone spreading the word about our free Seva classes.

A teacher’s greatest accomplishment happens when a student falls in love with the practice. The Fort Smith yoga community is growing and includes some wonderful teachers and yogis. I am grateful and humbled to be a part of that and I truly hope Seva can help to build a bridge between yoga and treatment, as well as throughout our community. 

“Don’t worry. Shanti is coming.” –S.K. Pattabhi Jois

Until next time,

Taylor

Image by Sarah D Photography.